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Monday, September 2, 2013

Throw your hands up!

To all my fellow parents out there, rest happily tonight.  School starts tomorrow and I for one could not be happier!  :)

We had a great summer!  So busy.  Lots of swimming, lots of parties, lots of time with friends and family.  Last summer was really hard for me--we were all still dealing with the divorce and life just didn't feel normal at all. 

But this summer--it was a blessing.  I fell in love with my children again this summer.  I miss them when they are gone even as I enjoy the quiet.  They are truly amazing kids and for the first time ever (I seriously mean EVER), I am not worried every second that I am screwing them up.  I still worry, just not as frequently.  Our new family system will not ruin them, nor will it ruin me. 

I have been working hard on teaching them responsibility this summer.  The old me (the married me) was too busy trying to accommodate and please everyone and never really got around to teaching them how to do things.  Being a single mom makes responsibility a necessity.  I don't have the time nor energy to run every detail of their lives.  I have also learned from myself being in therapy that not making people be responsible for their lives or by trying to do too much, you create a person who doesn't believe they are capable and competent.  I definitely want and need my kids to feel capable and competent but I also need them to know they are loved and safe in our home.  It is a tricky balance at times.

But all that work leaves me in a happy place tonight, feeling more prepared than ever for the first day of school.  I know I am sending happy and whole children off to school tomorrow.  It is a wonderful realization.